When you buy a sex toy you want it to do the job it was made for.
When you buy some lube you want it to perform the way it was advertised.
Sadly, it doesn’t always work out that way.
Not all products designed for sexual enhancement are created equal.
Some fall short of doing what they are designed to do while others are total failures.
We asked some sex toy reviewers to share a review of a theirs that was of a product that didn’t make the grade…
This is what we got.
First we have the review True Pleasures sent to us of the Lavender System JO glide massage oil.
True Pleasures reviewed this product last October, and though she found it slick and thought the idea of a massage oil that you can use as a lube was great, it still fell short.
Among other things, a lack of a proper ingredients list on the product made her leery.
Find out the other reasons the Lavender scented – System JO glide massage oil didn’t make the grade for True Pleasures by reading her review here.
Next we have our very own Miranda’s contribution (she is a moderator here on Real Sex Toy Reviews) of the Oralicious Banana Split oral sex cream.
According to Miranda an icky taste and a dead feeling tongue just are not conducive to a good time. She even titled her review “ORALICIOUS MY ASS!”
You can read Miranda’s review of the Oralicious Banana Split oral sex cream here to find out what else she thought of the product.
Teagan Shepard shared with us her review of the “waterproof” Screaming O Ling-O Vibrating Tongue Ring that she says kept slipping off her tongue and included a bullet vibe that had a lifespan of a full 10 minutes.
Read Teagan’s full review of the Screaming O Ling-O and check out the picture of the “waterproof” bullet vibe she includes here.
From Pocket RockettZ we received her review of the Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager that she says not only failed at doing the job it was designed to do, but it actually caused pain. Or to quote her: “Hurt My Kitty.”
Read Pocket RockettZ review of the Divine Inspiration here and what she has to say about the product.
Inferno sent a note along with his submission saying that although he didn’t mention it in his review, he was doubly disappointed in the Double Hole Sleeve he reviewed because he is a big fan of Tenga (the manufacturer of the product) and expected more from them.
If you would like to know why Inferno didn’t like the Double Hole Sleeve, you can read his review here.
Buzzvibe originally reviewed the Grrl Toyz Silk Touch Egg Vibe MAY of 2010 and found there was room for improvement, but thought it would be an o.k. product for anyone wanting to try a multi-function egg. Read Buzzvibe’s original review of the Grrl Toyz Silk Touch Egg here.
This year Buzzvibe re-reviewed the Grrl Toyz Silk Touch Egg Vibe and was less lenient with it’s shortcomings.
Here is a small excerpt from from the Buzzvibe 2011 review of the Grrl Toyz Silk Touch Egg Vibe that expresses her feelings about the product:
“I would visibly sneer at my Silk Touch Egg whenever I caught a glimpse of it in my toy drawer. I resented it for taking up space. It didn’t deserve to hang out with my LaysSpot and Hitachi, so I soon stashed it in the far corner of my junk drawer. And that’s where it has stayed, along with a few other toys I’ve retired because I got bored with them or found better replacements, so it’s not alone, but it’s definitely my least favorite vibe so far.”
Read Buzzvibe’s more current review of the Grrl Toyz Silk Touch Egg Vibe here and see why.
Nymphomaniac Ness shared with us her review of the Super BoyZ Swirl Girth Ring.
The Nymphomaniac Ness included a little note when she sent us this review of the Super BoyZ Swirl Girth Ring saying that she thinks couples sex toys and enhancers can go wrong more often than solo play toys because they have to please and work for both partners rather than an individual. She says:
“I’ve found that when a couples toy lets me down it has also let my partner down just through the experience of it not pleasing both of us.”
You can read the full review on the Super BoyZ Swirl Girth Ring from The Nymphomaniac Ness here.
So there we have it.
As you can see, not all sexual enhancement products are going to get a rave review every time.
In some cases a product may be of low quality. Sometimes it may just be a personal taste issue of the reviewer.
Sex toy reviewers see a lot of enhancement products and if they are honest reviewers you will sometimes see reviews like those included above because that is what reviewing is about. Sorting the good from the bad, and sharing the pros and cons of the majority of products that fall right in the middle.
For the most part you will see average and above type sex toy reviews. The reason for that is because retailers and manufacturers of sexual aids are usually smart enough not to send the really bad stuff off to be reviewed.
The really bad stuff is still out there though. Toxic chemicals, known allergens, and even lead paints are sometimes used.
Always look for safe toys, and when you read a review that points out the not so good points of a product you may have been considering maybe even drop the reviewer a comment of thanks for helping you not waste your money and an evening of fun.