A special feature post from Nitebyrd on body image and masturbation.
Before getting in the shower each morning, I look at myself in the mirror. “My boobs could use a lift,” I say. I suck in my stomach and wish that it would be tight and flat instead of poochy. “Ugh! I’ve got cellulite on my ass,” I whine. I wonder if I’ll ever get enough money for laser surgery for the spider veins on my legs. Exasperated, I step away from the mirror into the shower.
The next critical review takes place after I’m dressed. “Gods! My butt looks huge in this skirt,” I wail. Even with support pantyhose, my thighs still touch. “Even my earlobes are fat,” I’ll bitch as I put on earrings. Sighing, I’ll leave for work. Briefly, I’ll wonder do I look all right, what will my co-workers think? I don’t much care about them but I’ll definitely agonize about my body if I’m attending a function or out with friends. It’s not something that I’ll obsess about because I’m old enough to realize that I’m never going to have perky (real) tits again. I’m not ever going to have Tina Turner’s legs. You’ve gotta be born with them. Washboard belly? Not after two children, no matter how much CrossFit I do. But feeling inferior because I don’t look like what society dictates I should look like, yeah – I deal with it daily. The only time I never think about the deficits of my body is when I masturbate.
The times I enjoy pleasuring myself is all about ME! It’s supposed to be, isn’t it? I can feel that my breasts are heavy and full. Know that although they are not as firm as a 20 year-old, they nourished two children and fill a 38D very nicely. My nipples become erect, sensitive under my ministrations. I feel the curves of my body knowing that it’s soft and welcoming. My fingers may be chubby but they are agile. I can enjoy the wetness of my vagina, the full folds of my labia as I place a vibrator against my clit. Thinking that my sex birthed children which is why it may not be as tight as pre-birth. I also know that my cunt has made several men cry out in ecstasy. That makes me smile as I work the toy exactly the way I know will bring me the most satisfying orgasm. I also know that by masturbating and knowing my body – with all its faults and with all its wonders – has made me more accepting of those faults and more thrilled by it’s wonders. It also allows me the freedom to love my body/myself, totally without any guilt or shame.
In case you’d like to know my current favorite toy it’s the Lelo Nea. Delicious!
Link for LELO NEA ~ Nea
Written by Nitebyrd – A dust Bunny In The Wind